1. Down a burger from No 1. Takeaways in Balmoral.
2. Get on a long-haul flight, and ensure you roll hoi polloi (failing this, somehow forsake all physical comforts).
3. Await symptoms of food poisoning from Step 1.
4. Hammer that bathroom over the next 10 hours.
5. Spend 9 hours at Changi waiting for connecting flight, ensure this is done in total agony.
This last step probably applies less to Singapore's airport than others; the ground staff noted I wasn't looking too well and put me in a wheel chair like the jolly good folks they are. I was a bit of sight stumbling around and they probably just wanted me to stop scaring people...
Alternatively, watch The X-Files: I want to believe as I did on the flight. It was an equally painful experience.
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